I want to get to my goal weight this year

I started at almost 250 (248.8) and I want to get to 170 over this year. Right now I'm at 224 so I have about 55 to go.

I need to continue on Weight Watchers

I need to work out, I plan to get on a schedule and stick to it!!

I want to be able to RUN a 5K......I said RUN!!

I want to be confident in who I am....believe in myself. Know that I can accomplish anything.

24.4

I hit my 10% today!! It took 18 weeks to lose it, but I did. I'm looking at my goal being 170. Which would be a total of 80lbs lost almost. So about 55lbs to go!!

I really have to kick my butt in gear and work out! I do good for a month and then lose it!!

Any suggestions world out there?

22.8

That is a lot, but my goal by the end of the year is just 1.2 more. That is my 10%!! This last week I lost 3lbs. I've been at the 1.2 a week loss for a while. So it was nice to see a bigger # and I have a little less then 3 weeks till the end of the year.

It is so nice to see loss, I think my goal is 170 as a final weight. I defiantly want to teach classes and help others in this journey. I look at people now that are trapped in what I have been in. The lack of self control and pain that I see in them, I was there and still carry it around. They need to find that will to get out, we all need to work hard to be free from bad choices. It could be food, fat, sex, pornography, whatever it is...it is sin. There is freedom from it!! There is FREEDOM! FREEDOM! You don't have to quit because you fail once. Instead fail and pick yourself back up the next day. The past is past and if God can forgive it, then you need to learn how to also! If you dwell in your past then you truly don't have any future.

Instead see each day as a choice, and choose what you want. You will find that if Christ is truly in you, then you want for good and not evil. Break those chains, you don't have to walk around with them on. You really don't even have to break them, because Jesus already unlocked them you are the one that is now holding them shut. Let Go!!

Giving the gift

This year I'm giving myself the gift of health. At the meetings lately all they have been talking about is maintaining over the holidays. Well I'm not giving into that b/c there is no sense maintaining if my goal is to lose. I'll maintain when it is time to!

So my gift to myself is to get to the 10% a little over 5lbs in 1 month, I can do it.

I have to keep eating right!

And working out!

Gained 2lbs.

This week has been hard emotionally and it has in turn proven bad for my body. I don't think I have eaten badly but being in a negative mood has stopped me from exercising, getting good rest and trying to improve and the scale proved it.

I'm going back to the basics this week. Exercise, tracking and water. Also trying to keep on fiber, oils and proper foods. I know that the results will be positive and help me move forward.

But I can't do it alone, so Lord I ask for your help. I want to be healthy and live serving you. Give me strength t search you and know you daily.

T

18.8

I'm down 18.8 it is so awesome to be moving forward and working hard to do it.

14.6

I'm down 14.6lbs, it is not that much, but it is a lot all in the same. I also hit my 5% which is awesome.

I can see huge life changes, like I don't go out to eat and eat my whole plate I usually take home 1/2 or more and eat it the next day. My choices have been way wiser, and I really like know how my body works and to see lbs coming off.

Now I just need to get back on the workout train, I'm excited b/c I like how I feel after I workout. It is just the getting to workout part that I don't like so much!

Liver Detox

I'm on day 2 of fasting for my liver detox, I truly hope that the pain I am experiencing goes away after this week.

I will say one major thing about fasting, is that you feel everything that is going on in your body so much more than normal.

Starting tomorrow I get to eat, but it is a very limited diet. I have to try how to figure out how to cook stuff without a sink to clean in. It will all work out soon!!

I have a weigh in tomorrow, It has been 2 weeks because I was gone last week. So hopefully the scales will be in my favor.

237.8

I'm down 10.4 lbs in 8 weeks. I know it is not amazing, but for normal weight loss of 2lbs a month it surpasses that.

I have found that tracking helps me keep to my points, and since my body is getting the right calories daily the lbs are coming off.

And walking is key, 5x a week!!

3 weeks

So I have been on Weight Watchers for 3 weeks now. I'm down 2lbs which really isn't much. But better than going up!
It is so intresting to learn about the points and how my body works, now to just work hard and I think that I may just change my life!!

Weight Watchers??

I'm on week two. It has been going good, no weight loss yet but it won't happen over night!

My meds are finally on the right spot now, so maybe a life style change will really change my life?

I don't understand why we all feel like we are alone and fat, we aren't look outside they are all fat too! Now it is time to learn how our bodies work so that we can be the best we are all suppose to be!

239.4

Went to the Dr so I got my weight. It has been soooo hard to eat right w/o a kitchen. But my body is still working hard!

More meds

So I went to the Dr. and they upped my thyroids meds again. This has been ongoing for a year now. I'm excitied to get to the point where everything is working right, but I have to get there. And until then my body feels crazy, I want everything to work right!

5K- done

So I did it. It took 51min but I did it! I'm so ready to beat that time next year.

No weight

So I bought new running shoes today so b/c of that expense I'm taking 3-4 months off at the gym and I'm hitting the roads. I'm sure I'll stop in time to time to check my weight but I need to save some money, plus I have a huge remodeling project on a house I just bought. So if I plan on sticking to the roads I will actually do it and not feel guilty for not going to gym b/c I' busy. 

Wow! let's see how this goes. 

241.9

This week has been really hard, I can't seem to meet the goals I have placed for myself. I'm getting no where in my training but out of breath! There is a wall that I keep running into!! 

But right now I have decided to not let this beat me! I'm going to win, I'm going to pass this part!!

Cookies, cake rolls and sweet tea

These are things that i have been putting in my mouth, and not even really wanting them. I have been making very bad decisions and that is why I'm living with the consequences.
Why is it so much easier to quit then to start?

242.3

I lack motivation! I feel like I'm at the bottom of a mountain and can't make it over. I ate 4 Swiss cake rolls today......................that doesn't really help the current situation! I'm tired!!

244.4

I have been sick the last two weeks, mainly last week but it has made it harder to run this week b/c I am unable to breath. 

I so want to get through this. Weight loss is so important to my life right now. Things seem to be so up in the air. 

242.8

Something is working right. I think it was realizing that I'm not always going to want to go to the gym, but going anyway. And also the fact that taking days off is important.

This week has been hard

For some reason I have had a huge lack of motivation. Maybe it is because I'm not seeing the numbers that you see on biggest loser since I don't work out all day and live in a controlled food environment. 

The last thing I want to do is go on a diet, but I do want to learn how to work my body right. Time to search for some support!

245

I made it to 245 beside the fact of being sick! Maybe that is why I made it there, but I have been eating a lot. Feed a cold!

I did part of my couch to 5K work out today. It felt great! only 8 more weeks!!

No weight today

I went home last night feeling super sick, maybe that was the reason for my weight gain?
So I decided to get some sleep this AM and go to the gym after work.

I have about 8 weeks until my 5K so I have started training with a purpose. Which is good, because it will make me push myself more.

I'll let you know how the weekend goes.

247.4

I don't know what happened, I checked the scale twice. I gained 2lbs over night! Back to the drawing board.

But in spite of it I had a great workout this AM, I did intervals and incline. It was hard but fun!

The last 2 nights before I went to bed I have been doing sit-ups. Well 2 nights ago I woke myself up in the middle of the night doing sit-ups in bed. It was rather funny!

Now that I have the exercise down I need to focus on my food. Time to find a good book that will teach me about my body and the food it needs.

245.4

This is the lowest I have been since I well passed it on the way up.

I did weights today and that was great. I felt like I am getting somewhere. But I still feel that there is more I need to do. I need to push myself more, harder, faster further!!

I have decided to do a 5K in March!! oh how I need to get there.

246.1

So I get caught up in watching these shows were people lose 50lbs in a month. And I think why can't I do that? The answer is because I have chosen to live my life right and not go on a crash diet.
Today I was thinking about the fact that every way I chose to lose weight right now is something that I will have to keep doing to maintain my weight later. So in the long run eating onion soup everyday and cutting out every food that I enjoy just isn't going to work. In order to lose weight and keep it off I have to continue to teach myself how to eat in right amounts and at right times.

I know that I can do this, I need to take the time to learn my body though.

246.6

That was yesterdays weight. I did a 5k and improved on my time.

Today I worked out w/ Billy again. It is a good workout, but I feel that I get a better one at the gym. But I am feeling tired today. I think that it is my body trying to fight off all the sickness that is going around.

It is hard to keep pushing when the results seems so small. But I must remember that I don;t have 8 hours to spend in the gym(like the biggest loser) and it took my 25 years to put this weight on. So 7 lbs. off in almost 2 months is awesome!!

I need to look at the prize of a healthy, active life style and not compare myself to someone else.

No Number today

Today I didn't get to the gym so I don't know my weight. But I did work out w/ Billy Blanks Cardio. It was so fun!

We will see what tomorrow's numbers bring.



5K

247.3

All I have to say is a burrito for dinner is not a good thing!!

I was hungry and I ate. That was a bad choice, well at least the size of it was.

Even though I thought I wouldn't see 247 I did ; (

On to tomorrow!!!

246.3

Today I woke up 45min after my alarm went off. I guess you could say that I needed sleep. So I only got 45min in at the. It was good, but I walked away wanting to do more!?!

Then when I got to my gym bag my shampoo had exploded!!! That sucks. But all in all I think today will be a good day as long as those truffles on the counter don't get in the way.

Will Power PLEASE!

245.8

"...The only thing we have to fear is fear itself--nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." President Franklin D. Roosevelt

I read this on my coffee sleeve this morning and it struck something inside of me. All of a sudden I realized that is has been fear that has been holding me back in so many areas of my life.
Fear that I will fail
Fear that I will die
Fear that it will be to hard
Fear that I will never marry
Fear that no matter how hard I try I will never change my life
The list is so much longer but it all really rests on the fear of failure. I don't understand why it is so scary. I have failed and picked myself up, dusted myself off and gone forward. It wasn't that bad and in the long run it helped me grow. I think it may be the fact that the world looks at failing in such a negative way. But whatever doesn't kill me WILL MAKE ME STRONGER!!

I'm down again, which is exciting I may have finally found the right Thyroid meds and exercise mix. I guess we will see.
Don't be afraid to push yourself.....but you need to decide to do it for yourself!

246.9

I didn't even see 247. Let's see how long that lasts. Today is Sunday and my day off of working out, mainly b/c the gym is closed. It is always hard to stop and start the routine but I know that it is so good for my body to rest!!

249.3

Well daily I'm losing. Today I went in and did weights but it was too hard to do cardio. I need to figure out my body and how to it ease it into this new life style.

250.1

Today I had a good workout. But could only do 20min on the treadmill. My shins were killing me. Then I spent 15min on the elliptical. I felt good when I was done, but would like my legs to feel better. I guess it is because my body is in shock that I'm attempting to run/walk more than a few steps.I love working out 1st thing in the morning, I feel so good during the day!!

251.4

So I went to the Dr. on Friday and they upped my thyroid med again. The Dr. said that weight loss will be hard until I get my thyroid under control. To think that the main reason I gained weight was b/c my thyroid wasn't working right. And that for 25years I had been struggling with a hidden problem.

But after saying that I'm really excited to keep exercising and reaching those goals b/c then I think the rest will happen!

249.5

To weigh or not to weigh that is the question? So I have heard mixed reviews some say "oh no only weigh your self once a week so that if you are disappointed then it only happens once" other say, "Everyday, everyday weigh yourself everyday!".

My verdict weigh yourself everyday and here are my reasons why.
1. Waiting for a weekly weigh in can really send you in a tail spin when you have gained a few pounds and you may be more apt to gain more b/c of a bad response.
2. By weighing in every day you can put a pulse on what may have made you gain over a day, what you ate, your level of exercise...etc.
3. I also think that it is a everyday battle and by seeing results everyday, good or bad, you can start fresh daily.

Knowing your body is super important and that is something that I have avoided for 30 years. God did make us, but we didn't come with a manual to read about how we perfectly work. That is up to us to figure out, we have to all know what works for us.
THERE REALLY ISN'T A MAGIC LITTLE PILL!!!

internal dialogue

Lately I have found myself having this internal dialogue all day long. I will name the players so you can understand.
1. Lazy me
2. Healthy me
3. Just plain old me

Here is the scenario:
I've gotten up at 5:45 to get to the gym to workout. I finally get on the tread mill and start chugging along. Just plain old me thinks: Oh this is good I can do this, good job! After about 5min. Lazy me thinks (in a loud booming voice ): I'll never be able to run, I'll never accomplish anything, I should just quit now! As I get down and feel like I can't do it I hear this squeaky little voice trying to scream(healthy me): You can do it, it is not that hard, just push yourself harder.
This happens at least 8 times in a 30min workout!!

How about you? do you struggle with an ugly internal voice too?

250.5

I ran/walked a 5K on Saturday on 47min. It was so great, my body felt like a furnace for the next day. But I'm not getting the weight loss results that I really want. But I have to remind myself that it has only been a month, I think I need to measure myself b/c that is what is changing a lot. I have been consist in the gym but have just decided that instead of 3 days cardio I need to be doing 6 days. 5 days at 30min and 1 day a 5k. Then I'm going to split me weights into 6 days, 3 upper and 3 lower. That way I'm not spending forever in the gym but I am getting my cardio which is what I need for weight loss.

I get into places where I compare my body to other bodies. But I need to remember that I am a different creation than them, and God made me different. I unlike other people process food different, crave different things and have a totally different internal dialogue. As long as I teat my body like the temple that God intended it to be I know that He will bless me with what He wants me to look like. On the same note I know that He will also put me though whatever I need to go through to get there. There are no trials and tribulations that I can not handle as long as He is by my side.

That being said I'm finally going to take this blog public. I am no longer ashamed at the fact that I was 255lbs. because that was the lazy me. And I hope that I don't see the lazy me again for a while.